


Lunch (with a Side of Silence)

by MorinoAthame



Series: What's Age Got to Do With It? [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-18
Updated: 2014-05-18
Packaged: 2018-01-25 15:40:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1653815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorinoAthame/pseuds/MorinoAthame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Getting away from the house for a bit is supposed to be relaxing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lunch (with a Side of Silence)

Dean shifted in the driver’s seat of the Impala, glancing over at Castiel yet again. He couldn’t help himself, looking at the angel. Cas hadn’t said a word since they’d left Bobby’s, not that Dean was surprised, but the silence felt thick to him. He knew, despite what the others might think, that he was in far too deep with Castiel, he’d somewhere along the line developed feelings for someone who was far too innocent and naïve of such things to ever be able to reciprocate.

He sighed. There’d been far too much thinking about it over the last few months. Seeing Bobby walking around glowing and smiling and happier than Dean had ever seen him, seeing hunter and demon _cuddle_ , for fuck’s sake, and murmur to one another when they thought no one was around. It made Dean feel like there was a chunk of lead in his stomach.

If there was one thing Dean was good at, it was hiding how he felt, what he thought, when it truly mattered. He’d nearly perfected it, and only Sam ever really saw through it, but he was far too preoccupied with driving Bobby insane to notice the turmoil his big brother was in.

Arriving at the movie theater, Dean turned off the engine and moved to get out of the car, hoping they didn’t have to wait long for a good one to start. He got the Impala’s door open but was stopped when he felt Castiel’s hand on his arm. Dean looked over at him with a frown.

“Are you well, Dean?” The angel asked with his own frown in place. It made his lips look poutier than they usually did, Dean realized. He felt that familiar flutter in his stomach.

He smiled. “Course. Let’s go see what’s playing. May need to grab a bite to eat before the movie.” This seemed to appease the angel, who gave a nod and let go of his arm.

The hunter got out of the car and headed inside, feeling Castiel’s warm presence close at his side. He was used to it and didn’t give it much thought anymore, like Sam’s constant presence yet very different, too. While he didn’t think much about Cas being there, he was always thinking about Cas _being_ there _with_ him, even if it wasn’t as _with_ him as he’d like.

Looking over the movie schedule, he noted the times for the most promising one. “Looks like we’ll head for food then come back.” Dean smacked Castiel on the shoulder before going back to the car. The angel followed, as he knew he would.

“Could you not have ascertained the time by calling?” The angel asked.

“Sure. Just as easy to check.” He shrugged. They were going to be out anyway, and the rain had turned into damp air. Besides, Bobby had wanted them out for a bit. Dean knew that having everyone in the house constantly was beginning to wear on the older hunter. Being in the house constantly was more than wearing on Dean. “Diner sound good to you?”

Castiel looked at him, face blank. “I have no preference.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Yeah,” he muttered, turning the car over before driving to the diner not far away. It was such moments which reminded him of what Castiel was and that he was wasting his time hoping for anything out of the angel. He knew that Cas cared about him; they were friends in as much as Castiel could be friends, but he wasn’t human and didn’t feel things like humans did.

There was also the naivety when it came to being called his boyfriend, and any other way that Bobby and Crowley chose to hint that they were more than simply friends. If Castiel was interested, was capable of having such notions or feelings for someone, that shouldn’t go over his head. Dean wasn’t really sure what to do, so he kept on keeping on. It was what he was best at, pushing forward through everything and hoping once he got to the other side everything was alright.

Getting them to the diner, he got out of the car and headed inside knowing Castiel would follow without prompt. He could feel the near constant heat of the angel close to his back. Personal space really was lost on the guy, and he couldn’t find it in himself in the moment to correct him on it, again.

Dean slid into one side of his favorite booth, the window right in front of where he parked his baby, and picked up the menu. He had a pretty good idea of what he wanted, but he gave it a look over, anyhow. It was something to do besides stare at his friend or at his car.

Castiel sat across from him silently, looking around the diner before focusing his eyes outside the window. Dean doubted he was watching anything in particular so much as just staring into nothing, probably listening to angel radio, though that cute little crease was missing from between his brows. “You want anything, Cas?” He asked as he saw the waitress coming toward them.

“To fit in.” He gave a nod, looking at Dean. “Whatever is fine.”

Dean knew that Cas had become fond of certain foods, he just didn’t admit it. Smiling at the pretty blond that came to take their order, Claudia her name was, he set down his menu. “Hello, beautiful,” he said charmingly, the same way he did every time he was in the diner, to any of the waitresses that served him. “I’ll have your triple stacked bacon and cheese with fries on the side and an egg on top. He’ll have the double decker with extra bacon and no cheese and onion rings. And can we both get some cola, thanks.”

She smiled sweetly and gave a nod. “Coming right up, doll.” She turned to go put in their order, a sway to her hips that Dean couldn’t help but appreciate, smiling to himself until he turned his gaze back to Castiel.

“What?” He asked at the way the angel was frowning at him.

Castiel turned his gaze back out the window. “Nothing,” he answered shortly, pensive. Dean watched him, confused. The angel had said he’d eat whatever, so surely it wasn’t the order he’d placed for him. So, what the hell? He was fine until then.

Asking Cas would probably not get him any closer to an answer, so Dean let it go for the moment. His eyes moved over the rest of the diner, taking in the people with the sharp eye of a hunter. He didn’t expect to find anything unnatural in the room, but one could never be too sure. His attention fell to a father and two children sitting at a table near the counter.

The youngest, a pretty little girl no more than four with blond pig tails and ketchup smeared across her cheek, giggled and squirmed as her father tried to clean her face. The man laughed and teased her, finally getting her cleaned up before reaching out to ruffle his son’s sandy hair affectionately. It was clear that they were happy and enjoying their time together.

Not too far away sat a young couple. The woman looked to be about as far along in pregnancy as Bobby was, and she glowed in much the same way. The man was busy on his phone, but he held her hand on the table’s surface as she ate.

Yet another couple was in the corner clear across the diner, sitting together on the same side of the booth and holding hands under the table, no doubt. One of them had his head on the other man’s shoulder, and really Dean had to look away. It was all a bit much. He’d left the house, in part, to get away from this sort of thing.

Then there were the loners around the diner. A couple were clearly on lunch from whatever work they did around town, but a couple others he could see watching the couples with a bittersweet look in their eyes.

The jingle of the bell at the door drew his attention, a man entering looking a bit out of breath. The loud, delighted squeal of the little blond girl was impossible to ignore as she jumped off her chair and rushed him. He laughed loudly and scooped her up tight before walking over to the father and son, kissing the man on the cheek before sitting to join them.

Dean sighed and stared out the window at Baby. He couldn’t dare look at Castiel. The angel wasn’t good at reading people, but the few times he got it right were often the most inconvenient. Dean didn’t want to take the chance.

They sat in silence, both staring out the window until the pretty blond came back with their sodas. Dean smiled up at her, and she gave him a flirtatious wink before going back to check on other customers. He watched her ass again, and why not, it was firm and just the right roundness to grab hold, until a small noise drew his attention back to Castiel.

The angel was still looking out the window, but his brows were drawn a little tight and his lips were pressed together. The hunter wondered if he was hearing something upsetting on angel radio, but before he could ask, Castiel had turned and picked up his drink to give it a small sip. Clearly, whatever had made the expression wasn’t pressing.

Silence continued. Dean turned his glass in his hands, watching it absently. He could hear the small family talking and the giggles of the little girl. Seeing families like that always reminded him why he was a hunter, why he put himself through everything he’d been through, why he’d continue to use his life to protect as much of the world as he could. Yet…

Dean wanted a family. He always brushed such things off and made a show of not, however unsuccessfully, but the truth was, he wanted the American dream, or at least his own version of it. He sometimes wondered if John realized what he’d done, the futures he’d taken away from his sons even as Sam battled so hard to have that future. John got to have his boys, but had he truly realized that his boys would never get to have that? Dean doubted it. In hindsight, he sort of felt like a pet or a babysitter as much as a son, and while he loved his dad, he no longer saw him through rose colored glasses.

Sure, Bobby was having a baby, and Dean was happy for him even if the kid was half demon. But it was easier for the older man; he didn’t go on hunts very often, he had a home he was settled in, he had a business… he had _Crowley_ , believe it or not. Bobby was also up there in years, and Dean didn’t want to think about having to wait that long. He either needed to decide to give up hunting, at least for a while, and have a family, or give up the notion forever.

“Dean,” Castiel’s voice cut into his thoughts. He looked up at the angel, watching him as Castiel stared at him so deeply he felt transparent.

His throat seemed tight as he opened his mouth. “Yeah, Cas?” He got out, voice sounding tired more than forced, and Dean realized he _felt_ tired.

Castiel reached out and placed a hand on Dean’s wrist, staring at him still. A shiver ran down and back up Dean’s spine, settling into a warmth blossoming across his shoulders and up into his neck. The angel shifted his thumb to brush against the inside of Dean’s wrist, and the hunter shifted, leaning forward a little.

The moment was broken by the arrival of their meal. Dean’s eyes jerked up to Claudia, who gave him the same sweet charm she’d been giving to him all along as she leaned over so he could just get a peak down her top as she put first Castiel’s then his food on the table. He looked, it was habit, as she took a little longer than was needed to set the plate down.

Dean felt a tightening pressure at his wrist and glanced down, realizing that Cas still had a hold on him. He looked over at the angel who was staring at the table hard enough to set it ablaze. He really was acting odd, odder than usual.

The waitress stood up and set a stack of napkins on the table, the top one folded over and a dab of lipstick standing in bright fuchsia relief against the stark white. Dean smiled up at her. “Thanks, darlin,’” he told her before turning his attention back to the angel.

He waited until he heard her walk away before turning his hand so that he could at least get a grip on Castiel’s coat sleeve. “Cas, what is it? What’s wrong?”

The angel shook his head and pulled his arm back, reaching to pick up his burger and eat. He didn’t look at Dean and he didn’t answer.

Not sure what to make of the behavior, Dean ate his meal, too, but for once the food felt unappealing. Usually, no matter his mood or what was going on around him, he could take the time to appreciate and enjoy a good burger. He was worried about Cas, though, and without the angel talking there wasn’t much he could do to work out what was wrong or how to help.

Dean looked up at his companion, caught him glancing over at the small family. The dads were busy wiping faces and hands off, sharing soft smiles and tender looks overtop the small heads. The hunter glanced again at Cas, but the angel had turned his attention again to his food, face drawn and pensive. Whatever was eating Castiel, he was beginning to suspect had nothing to do with angel radio. He wondered if the angel was beginning to miss heaven, wanted to get away from the humans for a while.

After a silent meal, Dean pocketed the phone number, though he doubted he ever used it, and paid the tab. He walked out with Cas behind him, going toward Baby. There, he stopped, glancing up the light gray clouds in the sky that were getting darker again. “Looks like it might storm,” he commented before getting in the car.

The angel slipped in with him, and he didn’t waste time on getting them to the theater. The movie would hopefully distract him from the thoughts and emotions that had been swirling in his mind during lunch. Castiel’s continued silence wasn’t helping anything; that was certain. Dean just wanted a couple hours to lose himself to something and not have to think about anything at all, not Cas, not Bobby, not Crowley, and not Sam. He didn’t want to worry that some disaster was coming or that he’d never be happy, that he’d wasted his life even as he’d saved so many others.

Dean just wanted some peace, if only for a little while. He’d deal with everything else later, because it’d always be there, waiting.

**Author's Note:**

> This really didn't come out how I had originally planned. I had wanted more dialog and less inner turmoil, but Dean's got a lot on his mind, apparently. I've finally given up trying to force anything else out of it.


End file.
